Gate 6 ⌇ The Gate of Friction

We start with the first line. We are talking about the foundation of intimacy, about the line of introspection, and it says ‘Retreat.’ This is one of the first things to recognize about the nature of the emotional system: when it comes to intimacy,  the very first lesson of this hexagram is to wait. It is about retreat. Wait and see. The Realization that wasting one’s resources against overwhelming odds is not courage but folly. The moment that you step into that role relationship - the 59th gate is the role in which you find intimacy - you have to be very clear because you are in the wave. What felt good today can feel terrible tomorrow, and there is nothing that you can do about that.

Pluto exalted. The power of regeneration that can embrace retreat as a phase and not as a failure. One the other side, The inferiority complex, where retreat is experienced as personal weakness.  What we have here in the first line is the wave of weakness and strength. This is the nature of all intimacy. This is the foundation after all. What has to be examined, what has to be looked into, what the introspection is, is into the weakness and the strength. Both of them have to be revealed. One of the things that I remind emotional people is that when you meet somebody tell them,  “I am an emotional person. You may not like me tomorrow.”  If they are ready to take a chance and see what you are like tomorrow, everything will be a little bit easier in your relationship. But if they discover that themselves, you will get all that wave back on you because they are going to mirror that emotional wave.

The emotional stability to accept conflict. Think about how that works with a wave of weakness and strength. The emotional stability: you can feel weak and in that moment you accept intimacy. It does not mean that you are unstable, because you are weak. You can be very stable and recognize that you are weak, and you need the intimacy to give yourself strength. At the same time, you can have the emotional stability to accept intimacy from the strength of your wave. Guess what. You get both because it is the wave. The thing to recognize about looking at any aspect of any line in any hexagram in the emotional system is, that that line is always going to work both ways. It is going to work for both sides of the wave and everything in between as it moves through the arc of that wave. So you will always get both sides.

If it is fixed,  you get both sides of the side that is fixed. The emotional instability in times of conflict.  So when you are weak and unstable, you will accept intimacy. Or when you’re strong and unstable, you will accept intimacy. It does not make any difference. It is still going to operate in the wave. You will always get both ends. The nature of this first line tells us the most important thing about all of our bonding. To recognize so clearly that we, as the byproducts of our parent’s relationships, and all of the children that have ever been brought into the world, have been brought into the world ignorantly. They have been brought into the world based on these genetic imperatives that are much more powerful than we are.  The very first step that we can take in lowering the chaos level in the world at the moment, that we honor the first rule of the law of growth: don’t be in such a hurry to create the growth. This law says: better that it is fine a tree than a lot of weeds. Waiting and seeing where the seed should be planted and when the seed should be planted and with whom, before one goes out and decides that life is going to end up as a garden. This is very important because we do not listen when it comes to our emotions. Emotions make us deaf and blind. When it comes to intimacy it can make us deaf and blind and dumb. The first law is, “Wait a second. You are very nice. I would have married you yesterday but today I don’t feel like it. I wait and check it out and I will see.” This is the foundation of the house of intimacy.

When we get to the second line, we get to projection. The projection wave is the wave of advance and withdrawal. Remember about the nature of the 6, that it is always looking to the 59 - after all, that is the other side. The genetic roles that are being played out on the other side. The second line is not introspective. It is not looking into the relationship at all. It is not looking into what the nature of intimacy is. It is not looking at the weakness and strength. It is just the kamikaze. It is either going into full advance or racing back in full withdrawal. It is one or the other. That wave is going to operate on either side of the line. 

‘The Guerilla.’ Not to be confused with the animal, though sometimes they are similar. The ability to maximize an inferior position -  because it does not know the nature of intimacy. It hasn’t looked into what intimacy is. This is why this line can often be non-fertile because it has not looked into the nature of intimacy,  - through timely contact and withdrawal. That is already built into the nature of this line - this wave of advance and withdrawal. Venus exalted, Aesthetic sensitivity and mental detail can find the weakest point. The ability to advance and the built-in wave of withdrawal: the withdrawal always reveals within the beings themselves their own weak points, and out of that they learn when to advance against the weak points of others. It is a mechanism that teaches them where others are weak emotionally. These are great button pushers. They can go exactly to that button and they go ‘ding, dong’ and the emotional wave rises in that moment out of the projected field.

Mars in detriment. The kamikaze, striking but moot. Kamikaze can be beautiful. These people that lunge into relationships like there is no tomorrow. They’ve taken their oath to the emperor and they dive into their relationships blindly, aiming for the heart. They often crash violently. In the white book we have, The sensitivity to find the weakest point in a conflict and to exploit it emotionally.  Understand, that will operate in a wave. Sometimes that sensitivity  advances at the weakest point. Sometimes the weakest point is to withdraw from it. These people can really withdraw. They can project the other way in that sense. They know i.e., when somebody will need them emotionally and they can automatically withdraw from it, because they know that this is their weakest point and that they can’t get it then. Or they can project the emotional field in on the other side.

Underneath, A Lack of sensitivity that blunders into conflicts. These relationships are non-productive. But at the same time, like all non-productive things, they have a value. It is like my trivia that I keep collecting. Eventually, these people are very good in saying  “this is a non-productive relationship” and  “that is a non- productive relationship”, because they get to see it through the experience. Built into the 6 is what is built into all these waves: built into that wave is the experiential way. There is an experience in all of that that has to be gathered. The difficulty with the 6.2 is that it is always either advancing or withdrawing without really grasping the nature of the intimacy. It can be a difficult line, like all second lines.

We get to the third line, we get to the end of the lower trigram. We get to the line of adaptation and this line is the first possibility of being able to really meet the other side. This is the end of the lower trigram process and in that the third line has the introspection, and the projection and can be very fertile when it makes contact to the other side. The wave of this line is allegiance and rejection. It is making bonds and breaking them. This line is called ‘Allegiance.’ The ability to secure support and create strength out of a weak position. When connected to the harmonic gate 59, mating that results in conception. This is a deeply fertile line.

Neptune exalted. The destruction of old forms through union - It is very important to understand this. This is bonds made and broken. This is there for genetic continuity because this is a very bad place to try to build a stable relationship; this is bonds made and broken. This bonds made and broken is part of the genetic strategy that is going to be there in the resonance to the 6th line, when you go beyond what intimacy is. Here in the third line it is all about: we have to make sure that the gene pool is full of the unusual, so that we survive whatever future evolution is going to bring us. So this third line of allegiance is about the destruction of old forms through union. It is not bringing in the same old genetic material that you always had in your tribe. This is about bringing in something really new, new blood, new information. Usually, it was the traveling sales person. - either mundane as sexual union or exalted as universalization. 

Pluto in detriment, The rejection of allegiance as submission to established order. The whole nature of this is that the 59.3 in its detriment is promiscuity. This is bonds being made and broken. When you come to the Book of Letters, The depth of feelings that can enrich union and intimacy. And on the other side, Sensitivity to controls which may eventually reject intimacy. Think about how that works: those people will never like control. They will always be sensitive to control. When they are at their high end of the wave it does not matter. When they are at the low end of their wave it does. That is important to recognize for people who have that line. Somebody at the high end of their wave will submit themselves to the established order, to the bargain of the relationship, and at the low end of the wave will totally reject that. This is a genetic strategy to make sure that there is genetic diversity, which means that it can be a very difficult thing to handle in relationships.

By the way, what I tell all couples who go through this process which is rooted in the third line, is to recognize that the relationship cannot be what everybody else assumes it should be. These people have to take different vacations. They can live in different houses. They can have different lives but they can have a continuity in the bonds made and broken. This is the nature of the third line. If the relationship honors the mechanics, then the relationship can be healthy. That is true for any of these qualities of intimacy. The thing to recognize is that you are always having the wave operating in the line. That is why the waiting, the retreat from the very beginning is necessary, so  you can be clear about that. Alright, I am in the high end of my wave and I can submit to this authority but let me see, before I can make a commitment, what it feels like when I am at the low end of my wave. 

Jürgen and I were talking today about energies in houses and how nice it would be, if before you go into a place to buy or rent,  they let you sleep there for two or three days, so that you can really see what that energy is like. If you go in at one part of your wave you may feel that it is okay and at the other part of the wave it may not. The reality is that relationships are the most important thing for us. If you ask people what is really important to them, they will tell you that it is who they can love and who is there in their life.  We should then consider how little attention we pay to that. We are so quick to jump on the nature of the wave without seeing “wait a minute. Let us check it out.” This is the whole thing about being emotional: waiting, so that you can see. If you do not wait, you are never going to know, particularly  when you are dealing with the third line. The third line has to learn how to adapt to bonds being made and broken. You will never trust them, but they make babies. Irresponsibility breeds.

‘Triumph.’ A position of natural and unchallengeable power. Here we have gone to the upper trigram. We have the line of externalization as a theme and this is always fixed on his single track. The single track here is to be the dominant emotional force. This is “I am going to put my emotions across.” This is the externalization of the emotional field, getting the emotional field across. Sun exalted. The charity and wisdom that must come with victory and the movement toward new horizons.  It already says: they have the victory. If one is focused and one-tracked and is displaying emotional energy, there is nothing that you will be able to do about that. They win hands down. The only difficulty is: when they are doing that with someone who is emotionally undefined they get a very powerful mirror back, and then you have an enormous amount of emotional tension that gets built. 

Pluto in detriment,  The conqueror and purger. The externalization of the emotional motor can be very painful. There is a joke in all of this: this is the wave of Kindness/Meanness. The movement of that energy is that at one level, that power display of energy  expresses itself as very kind. It is the emotional wave that overwhelms you with its kindness. It can also overwhelm you with its meanness. It can be very fixed in both. It can be fixed on being emotionally kind to you and then - the wave can be a lengthy one - it will flip over to the other side, all of a sudden. The role on the other side is ‘Brotherhood/Sisterhood.’ The strategy is that you are not going to be able to fuck with someone until they are your friend. I am crude for a reason, because this is what it is all about. It is a strategy: I am not able to be penetrated or penetrate until this person is my friend, so that there is this power wave to create the intimacy. That power wave is either kind or mean. By the way, some people are enormously seductive by being mean. We have a whole world of masochists and sadists. It will always be there because it is part of the matrix. It is built into this line.

In the Book of Letters, The power of emotions to dominate a relationship. The whole thing for these people is that, in terms of the mundane, they are much better off with people in their lives who are already emotionally defined. They have a very difficult time with people who are undefined emotionally. Every time they display their power, they will get the mirror. That mirror can be so intense that it can lead to all kinds of real meanness. It can be explosive and violent like all emotional things. 

The lack of emotional control that is destructive in relationships. That operates in the wave. Sometimes that lack of emotional control simply ends up being just kind. Then it is seeking out the kindness. It can be mean. It can be the other side. It will always move through the wave. But the thing to recognize about this line is that it is putting out this emotional process, regardless. It does not matter what the situation is. It is the one that has to have the emotional control. It is the one that has to dominate in the emotional field. These are people that, if you are upset, they get more upset. If you are an emotional being and you have one of these people around, they will be more emotional than you over you being emotional. Your husband dies and they cry harder. That is their kindness. They can also be much meaner. You can see that with kids. One kid is mean and the next kid is meaner. The poor victim on the other side that used to be one of their friends.

The fifth line is ‘Arbitration.’ The wave here is Selfishness/Selflessness, and this is all about seduction. This is about being the seducer and the seduced. We call it a line of universalization. All universalization  is about seduction. This is  the fulfillment of the hexagram. The faith derived from analytical diligence and emotional control that permits a higher authority to judge a conflict. That can be very mystical. What it really says is that only time is the authority that will allow clear assessment of the nature of any intimacy. Remember, this line is in resonance to ‘the Guerilla,’ to the projected field and to the dilemma that comes out of advance and withdrawal. This is different. It is at a higher level.

Venus exalted. Harmony furthered through the avoidance of direct conflict. That harmony is about the inner harmony. After all, you have to love yourself first. This is one of the laws about who is worthy of your love. Love yourself first. This is the first step. At that moment you come to  ‘Arbitration.’ Sensitivity to conflict can lead to the avoidance of intimacy. “I will go up and down in my wave as an emotional being. I need to find harmony within myself and not any old intimacy is going to work. I have to see which intimacy is best and the moment I see, I will seduce it. If it allows me to seduce it, it is for me.” That is the whole nature of seduction. The seducer and the seduced are one.

On the other side of this is the Moon in detriment,  Where a party to arbitration sees itself as the best possible judge and will only accept judgment , if it is the victor. Here in the Book of Letters  Insensitivity to the concerns of others in a conflict. This is really looking for what is the nature of  the relationship? What kind of bargain will we have? What kind of house will we live in? Will we have a white picked fence? Will we have three or seven children? What is built in here is a sensitivity to what the intimacy has to be. The universalization of what intimacy is supposed to be. This is all about being sensitive to the other and recognizing whether they are the right relationship for you. If not, don’t have anything to do with it because this kind of intimacy is there to lead to the production of children.

The whole thing is that, unlike the third line which is all about any kind of genetic material as long as it is new and is going to change the old form, the fifth line is interested in intimacy that can be maintained, that can stand in time. So this insensitivity to the concern of others: one of the things to see about that is that the fifth line isn’t looking for a dilemma in its relationship, it is looking for a harmonious relationship that will work. They are very fixed in that and they do not put up with people who try to break into that harmony. They end up wanting to be the ones who are always the arbiters, even at its best.

When you get to the sixth line,  you get to the top of the house. You get to the line of transition. This sixth line in its resonance to the 3rd line, you know that it is strongly fertile like the 3rd line, but it is less likely to reproduce. It is looking for something much greater in that. What it is looking at has nothing to do with the other person. It has to do with the world  their children will live in. This is a deep look over the top of the roof out into the world. If you could hear these people in their wave, they would say at the high end of the wave, “I know that I have to have children but in what kind of world will they live in?”  At the low end of the wave it is, “I know that I should have children but it is a terrible world they will live in.” On the other side they say,  “I am not going to have children because the world is awful,” or  “I am not going to have children because I can’t be sure that it will be a better world.” This has nothing to do with the nature of direct intimacy and in that sense it can be something that can appear to be deeply apathetic. This is the wave of sympathy/apathy. It is in resonance to the role of the ‘One Night Stand.’ 

I remind people that this is deeply misunderstood, this ‘One Night Stand.’ That may be the only time that a sixth line will actually have an intimacy. Maybe once in their life or maybe a lot, until they learn in their wave. The transition field is what will happen generationally. Remember, this is the defense circuit. This is where life is being generated. The law of growth for humanity is: Make more. Here it is not about who I will make more with. It is about what kind of world are my children going to live in. By the way, that can be deeply delusionary.

‘The Peacemaker.’ The discipline and integrity of a superior force to unilaterally cease conflict to permit surrender and survival of its foe. “I know that the world out there will never allow my children to have a decent life, so I am not intimate with you.” It can seem incredibly rational. “I am not going to get  involved with this relationship because I know that the result of this relationship will bring a hard time in the world.” You hear these people make these kinds of comments all the time. Mercury exalted, The highest form of reason is that life is sacred. “I know that I must have children, but what kind of world will they live in.” This is that transition point

Venus in detriment. The peacemaker whose actions are just but whose terms are unacceptable.  “I know what kind of intimacy I would like to have with you as a person. I know what intimacy is. I am a sixth line,”  says this person. “But I am not interested in that. I am interested in what world my children will live in. If it is not a good world, I don’t want to have anything to do with this.”  What judges that? This is an emotional wave after all. In the Book of Letters, The emotional power to end conflict tempered by feelings and sensitivity to others. “If I will have children, I have them with you.” That is the sympathetic side. The apathetic side is not caring whether they understand why, or why not. You will not engage in that intimacy. This is the whole thing to recognize about this 6th line. The 6th line here, particularly in this sense, it doesn’t have to engage in intimacy. Intimacy for them represents something much greater.

The emotional power to end conflict but only after one’s conditions have been satisfied.  They are always looking for a way in which they can be the ones who are in charge of the emotional quality of the relationship. They are the ones that are setting this condition for what the possibility can be. Often, these people end up with partners where they both work and try to make the world a better place. We have a lot of these sixth line people. It is in the nature of the sixth  line to make the world a better place. They are often couples who will be doing service work or dedicating their time to the community. Working out that process. Here are my conditions. Let me establish the conditions. We have to work for a better world so that our children can come into a better world.

When the emotional spirit awakens in the 55.6, the resonance will come from this sixth line. This would be the first aspect of the  sixth gate that will have an emotional awareness that will lead to a whole new perception of the nature of the world.  We will eliminate a lot of this fear that is there, that the 6th gate sees. The fear that the world can be a horrible place. The 6.6 looks over to the 46.1. They want to know that their children are in the right place at the right time.